


Winning Love

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Future, Points of View, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-29
Updated: 2004-09-29
Packaged: 2018-12-27 05:59:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12074928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Plot Bunny By: Daddy's Kitty.  Brian doesn't do love, but what if he did once upon a time?  What would happen between Brian and Justin if Brian's old love comes back?





	Winning Love

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin’s POV

 

It’s been a grueling two weeks and I’m happy to finally be back home. I’ve been away on business, first for Kinnetic and then for the opening of one of my shows in New York. Brian was supposed to meet me there but he called saying that he was too busy. I blew it off because I know our company is extremely busy right now, but I’m still a little sad that he didn’t make it. This is the first show that he hasn’t made it to. Finally reaching the platform to our loft, I notice the door is open. I hesitate for only a moment before reaching for the handle to slide it open. I stop when I hear Brian’s voice; I lean against the door, feeling slightly guilty for eavesdropping, but push those thoughts away. 

“Sammy, it’s not the same anymore, we aren’t the same anymore. Fuck, it’s been 16 years Sammy. A lot can change in 16 years.” Brian says, my interest is immediately peaked and I wonder what the fuck they are talking about. 

“Brian you’re my husband, we never filed papers to end our partnership. I still love you and you used to love me. I think you still do,” the voice says. I bite my tongue to keep from interrupting, to keep from hurling into MY home and demanding to know what’s going on. 

“Sam, I know that we never fucking filed but I…I don’t know.” I start to open up the door, not wanting to hear anymore of the conversation. I’m almost through the door when my phone starts ringing. I drop my luggage by the door and pull out my cell phone, not even looking over at Brian as I make my way over to the fridge. 

“Taylor,” I say answering the phone. 

“Hi…Justin, it’s Scott.” Immediately I know that something is wrong, by the way he’s stuttering. I wonder what account they’ve managed to fuck up now. 

“Which account,” I ask, leaning forward I rest my head against the cool metal.

“The Tiffany account.” I slam the water down, my anger raging. 

“I just dropped those fucking boards off and in the half hour I’ve been gone, you’ve managed to fuck them up. How, pray tell have you managed to fuck up?” I seethe into the phone. I drop my finished bottle of water in the trash and begin to remove my clothes. 

“I thought that the designs could use some enhancements, so I used the override code and changed them.” I stop mid-step and pinch the bridge of my nose. Willing away the migraine that’s coming on, realizing that it’s futile, I turn back to the kitchen, grab my pain pills, and swallow two. 

“You have an override code to fix fuck-ups not change boards that the client has already approved. Do you realize how long I worked on those boards? Fuck Scott. You had better hope to god that I can fix them or I’ll have your balls. By the way, the code will be changed you have be demoted.” I slam my phone shut, fighting the urge to hurl it across the room. I take a deep breath before shaking my head and begin removing my clothes, again. 

“Uhhh, Justin.” I hear from across the room. I stop my movements and turn and look at MY partner and his…his…whateverthefuck sitting closely on the sofa. To be honest, once I got the call, I completely forgot that they were even here. 

“Sorry, didn’t realize you were home or that we had company.” I say quietly, pulling my shirt free of my pants. I stand there for a moment feeling very lost at the moment. 

“Justin this is Sammy, Sammy this is Justin,” Brian introduces. I nod my head in acknowledgment before walking toward the sofa. Brian looks up at me before wrapping his hand behind my neck and pulling me down. I rest my forehead against his and stare into his eyes. He’s trying to read me, to see how much I heard but I force myself to forget about it, to not allow him to see the pain that I’m feeling. 

I press my lips against his for the first time in two weeks and I can feel the tears coming to my eyes, my cock throbbing in my slacks. God I’ve missed him and now...now I come home to his…husband and him talking. What the fuck? He opens his mouth slightly, allowing me entrance and I sink inside. Our tongues chasing each other, moving against each other, god how I have missed him. I lean back from the kiss, our eyes locked together and I know that he can read my feelings now, whenever he touches me my walls fall down, and he can read me like an open book. Over the years, I’ve learned how to hide my feelings from others, but with Brian, I can’t hide, never have been able to. 

“I have to go back into the office,” I say quietly against his lips. 

“You just got home Justin. You’ve been away for two weeks on business, I want you to stay home, besides you just took pain pills,” Brian says, frowning. 

“Yes and I want to stay home but they managed to fuck up the Tiffany boards so I have to go fix them. You have a meeting with them tomorrow to finalize the campaign.”

“Have them sent home, I don’t want you to go anywhere especially since you took your medicine.” He smiles at me and caresses my face. I close my eyes and get lost in his touch before nodding my head in agreement. 

“Can you call Cynthia for me and have a courier bring them over. I want to go take a shower,” I ask. 

“Yea,” he says before kissing me softly. I smile at him before pulling away and walking up to the bedroom. Maybe everything will be okay. 

Brian’s POV 

I avoid looking at Sam, not wanting to talk about Justin yet. I quickly call Cynthia and ask for the boards before looking back into Sam’s questioning eyes. 

“Who is he?” He asks and I think about that carefully for a moment. 

“He’s my lover, my partner in both my life and in business.”

“How long?” Sammy asks and I can see the pain in his eyes. 

“Six years.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sam you just showed back up in my life. You barged into my home and started talking about you. What has been happening with you for the last sixteen years and what it is that you want. You talked about our TWO years together; you didn’t give me a lot of opportunities to discuss what is going on in my life.” I defend; it has always been like this. Always about him, what he wants and needs. 

“Well I’m listening now,” he says quietly, looking at me pleadingly. For a man of 35 he can still play those puppy dog eyes that make me want to do anything for him. 

“Now is not the time, I think you should go,” I say. He eyes me for a second before standing up, grabbing his overcoat. He stares at me for a moment before moving toward me, stopping right in front of me. 

“I love you Brian and if you tell me that you don’t love me anymore, I’ll walk away.” I stare into his eyes and I want to say that I don’t love him anymore but I can’t force the words out of my mouth. I don’t lie, I never have, and even though right now I want to more than anything. I can’t. I turn my head away from his piercing brown eyes but he grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. 

“I’ll go for now, but we aren’t through,” he says before leaning forward and capturing my lips with his. I’m vaguely aware that his lips aren’t as soft as Justin’s, that he doesn’t taste like Justin, that the spark I get from kissing Justin isn’t there. He moves to deepen the kiss but I move away from him, feeling guilty for kissing him. I haven’t kissed anyone except for Justin in five years. I watch as he turns to walk away and I feel my heart remembering the pain I felt when he walked away from me all those years ago. 

“Brian,” he asks, turning and looking at me. 

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you told me that you loved me?” 

“All the time,” I answer honestly. 

“Can you say the same for Justin?” He stares at me for a moment before turning and walking away. I watch as the door closes quietly behind him before sitting down heavily on the sofa. I bury my head in my hands wondering what the fuck I’m going to do when I hear quiet sobs coming from the bedroom. FUCK Justin! I quickly stand up, make my way into the bedroom, and see Justin curled around a pillow. He’s squeezing the pillow to his chest; his eyes squeezed shut, tears running helplessly down his face, his lips pierced between his teeth.

“Justin,” I say quietly. I can see him trying to calm himself down but the tears continue to roll down his face, the sobs never stopping. I crawl into bed behind him and wrap my arms around him. This isn’t what I wanted for his first night back home after two weeks. I can feel tears behind my eyes and try to force them away; try to make them go away, but to hear my partner in such pain hurts deep in my soul. 

“He’s…he’s right you…you know,” he chokes out through the sobs. 

“About,” I ask, silent tears running down my face. I bury my face in his damp hair, breathing in his scent; wrap my arms tighter around his body, feeling his firm body underneath my arms. I smooth my hands down his chest, feeling the familiar texture, his soft, strong body. 

“You…you…have never said…that you…you love me,” he says before shoving his face into the pillow, tears running down his face, painful sobs ripping from his body. I can’t say anything to refute his claims because I have never said it to him. I’ve never trusted myself to say it to him, what if he hurt me like Sammy did. He has already left me once but he came back, hasn’t he proved his love to me.

“Justin…” I start but I don’t know what to say. He moves out of my arms and sits up, wiping the tears from his eyes, he doesn’t look at me, refuses to meet my eyes. He takes deep breaths, trying to get himself under control before finally raising his eyes to meet mine. I can see the pain so clearly written there but I can also see the love that he has for me. 

“What do want Brian?”

“I…I don’t know,” I say quietly, dropping his gaze. I can’t stand to see him in pain, to know that I’ve caused this pain. 

“I do love you Brian but…but I only want you to be happy. Whatever it is that will make you happy.” I stare at this amazing man and I can feel my heart swell with love for this wonderful beautiful man. 

“I want you,” I whisper before pulling him down on top of me. I cover his lips with mine, delving my tongue into his mouth. I moan at the taste of him, the familiar exhilarating taste of my lover. I run my hands down his strong body, taking in the familiar texture. I slip my hands into his sweat pants and knead his muscular ass. 

“Love you,” Justin whispers against my lips before taking my lips in his mouth again. I roll us over so that I’m on top of him, pinning him to the mattress, covering him the way he loves. I slowly move down his body, sucking on his neck, leaving my mark on him. Sucking on his small pink nipples, chewing on them to make them harden. I stand up and quickly remove my clothes before pulling his sweat pants off. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” I whisper before settling back down on top of him. 

“Make love to me,” he whispers, tears in his eyes. I gently kiss his fluttering eyes, tasting the saltiness of his tears. I start moving down his body again but he grabs my shoulders, stopping my movements. 

“Make love to me Brian,” he says again, pleadingly. I nod my head and reach for the supplies. I quickly cover my fingers with lube and slide one inside of him. 

“Justin, open your eyes,” I demand softly. His eyes slowly flutter open and I stare into the watery blue eyes that have taught me so much, that have shown me so much love. I move my finger in and out of him slowly, watching as his eyes glaze over with lust. I add a second finger in him and he arches into me, drawing me deeper inside of him. 

“Now Brian,” he begs, the tears never stopping. I move his legs onto my shoulders and cover my cock with lube. I stare into his eyes and I slowly push into him. I pause for a second when his face pinches slightly in pain. When he moans and bucks against me, I push all the way into him in one swift motion. He wraps his arms around my neck, bringing me down to him. “Love you,” he whispers against my lips. He kisses me deeply sliding his tongue into my mouth. I start moving my hips slowly, pushing deep into him before pulling all the way out. 

“Miss you,” he moans, tightening his anal wall around my cock. “Feel so good.” I start pushing into him faster, slamming into him before pulling back out. 

“So hot…fuck Justin,” I moan rolling my head back. I feel his hand on my face and stare down into his beautiful blue eyes. I lean down and capture his lips with my own as I we move against each other, reaching the pinnacle point and falling over the edge. I feel his hot cum bathe our chests as his orgasm erupts through him. His head thrown back in ecstasy, his eyes shut. His ass spasms around my cock sending me head first into my orgasm, my hot spunk filling his tight ass. I force my eyes to remain open, watching Justin calm down from his orgasm. His eyes suddenly fly open and he looks at me questioningly. A smile plays on his lips as he continues to cry. He pulls me down on top of him, sealing us together with his drying cum. My heart is slamming against my chest and my breaths are shallow. I lie in the safety of Justin’s arms, feeling safe and loved for the first time in two weeks. I begin to tremble with all the emotions rushing through me and the tears begin to fall. I love this man but why can’t I tell him? He holds onto me tighter, his hands running up and down my back and I can only wonder what would my life be like if he wasn’t there anymore.

“Why,” he whispers.

“I wanted you to have part of me that nobody else ever has,” I whisper against his chest. I kiss him gently before pulling my bare cock out of him. I gently stand up and go to the bathroom, retrieving a washcloth; I quickly clean myself up before returning to the bedroom. After quickly wiping him up, I lie down beside him and pull him into my arms. 

“We have to talk Brian,” he says softly. I take a deep breath, slowly letting it out, I nod my head and squeeze him to me, letting him know that I am ready. 

“Tell me what you think I need to know,” he says softly. 

“I met Sammy when I was 18, my freshman year at college. He was starting his junior year and I was just a freshman but we had an instant attraction to each other. After six months of seeing each other, he asked me to move in with him and I did. We were happy for a long time. We tricked occasionally but only together, for the most part we were monogamous. At least I thought we were. He asked me to marry him, and even though gay marriages aren’t legal, we had paper’s drawn up naming us each other’s POA’s, our wills named each other. Pretty much if anything ever happened to either of us, the other had legal rights. We had a private commitment ceremony in Mexico during winter break. It was beautiful; he gave me this bracelet as a symbol of our commitment, I gave him a similar bracelet.” I feel Justin stiffen in my arms but I hold him tightly, not allowing him to move away. “Six months later he graduated. We were on summer break but I still had to work. I came home early to find him in bed with someone else, all of his stuff packed. I watched as he fucked the guy, refusing to run away like I wanted to. When he was done and the trick gone, I asked him why. He said that although he loved me that he realized that he wasn’t ready to settle down. That he accepted a job in California and that he was taking it. I asked him, begged him to stay and he refused. I asked to go with him, to start our new life together and he said no. That he had to do this alone, that he had to spread his wings and become a man and he couldn’t do that with a college student underfoot.” I take a deep breath the pain still so fresh. 

“That’s why you say you don’t believe in love or commitment ceremonies because he used it and then left you,” Justin says softly. 

“Yea,” I whisper. 

“And now?” I feel his heart beating wildly against my chest and I seek the words that will comfort my partner but I refuse lie to him.

“I think I still love him.” I feel him nod against my chest and then hot tears searing my skin. I choke back a sob as my own tears fall helplessly down my face.

“Then see if you do,” he whispers. “I want you to be happy Brian even if you can’t find that happiness with me.” We lay there silently in each other’s arms, taking and giving comfort, holding onto each other, holding out hope that everything will be okay. 

Justin’s POV

When he admits to still loving Sam, I feel my heart shatter into a million little pieces. I know that he loves me, I’ve known since our first night together, but if he doesn’t take this chance, Sam will always be between us. It breaks my heart to think that the man that I have loved unconditionally for six years will no longer be beside me but it’s worse to think he’ll resent me and stay with me out of obligation rather than want. 

“I think you and Sam should go on our vacation. It’ll give you both a chance to be together to see if…if you still want each other.” I try to contain my hurt, the pain that I’m feeling. I need him to do this, to make sure that it’s me he wants. 

“Justin?” I can hear the panic in his voice and I straddle his waist to stare into his watery hazel eyes. 

“Baby, I love you. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me that we’re…that…you...you don’t want me anymore. But you have to do this, if you don’t then you’ll always wonder what if? You’ll begin to resent me. Please do this for you, do it for us.” We stare into each other’s eyes, I can see the love so clearly defined there and I want to take back my words to tell him not leave me but I don’t. I lean down and kiss him gently before climbing off the bed. Walking into the bathroom, I gently shut the door and fall to my knees, wondering why life has to be so fucking hard. Don’t we ever deserve a break, time to just be with each other? God, please let me get through this. 

I quickly wash my face, forcing the rest of my tears away and walk back into our room. He’s sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands. 

“Brian,” I say quietly. He looks up at me, sadness etched in his eyes. I walk over to him and cup his face. 

“I’m going to go so you can have some privacy. You have some arrangements to make; I need to work on the Tiffany account and then I’ll go to my studio.” He nods his head but wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my stomach. I run my fingers through his soft auburn hair, wondering if we’ll still be together in a month. I slowly back up from him and begin to walk away, our fingers touching until the space forces us to let each other go.

Two Weeks Later

Brian’s POV

I’m sitting on the balcony of our suite in Mexico, staring into the never-ending ocean. We’ve been here for six days now but I haven’t been able to reconnect with Sam with the way he would like. I try to be here for him, to listen to him, to talk with him about the future but I keep remembering that Justin and I are supposed to be in Italy right now. Justin said that I could use our vacation, but I didn’t feel right taking Sammy to a vacation that I had planned with my partner. Is he still that? Over the last two weeks, it feels like Justin has been slowly slipping from my grasp. He still lives in our home but he’s distanced himself from me. It just doesn’t feel right but then again having Sam at our home all the time, I’m sure didn’t help matters. 

I vaguely hear my cell phone ring inside, I consider retrieving it but as soon as it started, it stopped.

Sam loved reliving the old days in front of Justin, flaunting the fact that I said I loved him all the time, that we had a commitment ceremony. But Justin, he just nodded his head and looked the other way, never said anything back against Sam, never talked about the life that we’ve had for the last six years. About us bare backing on one of our last nights together. 

After everything that happened with Sam, I built walls around my heart to protect myself from getting hurt but Justin slipped right through. He healed my tattered heart, made me feel complete again, and made me feel loved and able to love. But I never said the words to him, scared that he’d leave me if I said them and now, I may lose him anyway. Do I want that? Do I honestly think that I could love Sam the way that I love Justin? I guess we can only find out. 

“Brian,” Sam says coming up and resting his hands on my shoulders. His touch is so unlike Justin’s. Justin’s is comforting and loving but Sam’s feels territorial and controlling.

“Yeah,” I ask. 

“What do you want to do?” He moves around and sits down on my lap, I wrap my arms around his waist but he doesn’t fit against me as Justin does, it’s awkward to have him in my arms. When we were at the loft, he kept trying to touch me; hold my hand, rest his hand on my thigh, hug me, sit in my lap and I let him, occasionally, but it felt so…wrong to be doing it in a place that I’ve shared with Justin for nearly six years. Justin never tried to touch me, to lay claim on me, he would just look away, or sometimes he just wouldn’t come home, staying at his studio until late at night. 

“Hmmm, I don’t know. What would you like to do?” He stands up, pulling me up with him; he wraps his arms around me. I rest my hands on his hips as he gently starts to kiss my neck. I try to get into it, to think of him as it used to be between us but Justin’s amazing blue eyes keep flashing behind my eyes. I push him away and I can see the hurt in his eyes but I’m not ready for this. Fuck, Brian Kinney, turning down fucking! But this is so much more than tricking, this is playing with Justin’s heart, with ours. 

“I’m not ready Sammy,” I say quietly, resting my forehead against his. 

“Well when the fuck are you going to be ready Brian? We’ve been down here for nearly a week and you will barely touch me. Damnit Brian we were supposed to try!” Sam says moving out of my arms. I can feel my anger welling up inside of me about his demands. 

“Sammy YOU left me 16 years ago. YOU wanted a new life WITHOUT a college husband. It was YOUR decision to leave. YOU can’t come back into my life NOW and demand that we try again. It doesn’t fuckin’ work that way. It’s going to take time Sammy” 

“Have you decided what you are going to do?” 

“No, I haven’t. I’m going out, I’ll be back in a little while,” I say turning and walking away. I think I know what I’m going to do, but I’m not ready to discuss it with anybody. I walk out of the room without picking up anything other than my wallet and make my way down to one of the bars on the beach. 

Justin’s POV

I’m drumming my fingers impatiently against the steering wheel in my car, waiting for Daphne to emerge from the hospital. She’s working on her ER residency and her boyfriend of two years wasn’t able to pick her up.

I try to keep my thoughts away from what Brian and Sam are doing in Mexico, but I can’t help but wonder. Our last night together was tense, so much so that he wasn’t able to fuck me, I just couldn’t relax enough to allow him inside of me. God every night that I go home, I continue to relive our life together in the loft, at our job, in my studio. He’s everywhere, so ingrained in me that I can’t escape his memory.

A sudden flash in the corner of my eye pulls me from my thoughts. I turn to see Daphne pushed against the wall and rushing on adrenaline, I leap from the car and run to them. 

“Daphne,” I yell as I run toward her. God, I really fucking hate parking garages. The guy turns to look at me and Daphne is able to escape his hold. 

“RUN!” I try to follow her through the employee entrance but before I can reach the safety of the hospital, I feel myself hit the wall, my skull making contact with the cement. I whimper from the pain radiating in my head but don’t have time to think as someone kicks me repeatedly in the stomach. I feel a searing heat penetrate my gut and my last thoughts are of Brian making love to me. 

Daphne’s POV

I run through the hospital to the security desk. 

“Help, please, my friend…” I start crying, thinking of Justin out there all alone. 

“Dr. Chambers, you need to calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was attacked…in the parking garage…my friend was waiting for me…he’s still out there,” I cry. I hear the security guard saying something on the radio before he takes my arm and leads me back down the hallway in which I came. 

“Dr. Chambers, you need to tell me which floor.”

“Employee floor,” I say my heart racing. We quickly make our way up to the top floor in the parking area, the security guard forces me to stay back as he moves slowly into the garage. I try to calm my breathing and get control of my tears but they continue to fall down my cheeks. I start pacing back and forth in the hallway, trying to remain calm but all I can think about is Justin laying out there alone. 

“Dr. Chambers, you better get out here,” the security guard, yells. I quickly run out the door and see Justin lying on the floor, beaten, blood running from his head and his stomach. 

“Fuck,” I whisper, staring in shock at my best friend. 

“Dr. Chambers,” the security guard says moving beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Immediately I move into action racing toward my friend. I drop to my knees and survey the damage.

“Call down to the ER, tell them we have a critical patient coming in with a head injury. Had a sever head injury five years ago.” I demand, “Now pick him up and carry him, we can’t wait for them to get up here.” I watch as the door flies open and other security guards come into the parking garage but I quickly dismiss them, informing them that I’ll give my statement later. We race through the hallway, Justin’s bleeding severe as it soaks his clothes and the security guard. When we reach the ER, Justin is immediately taken from the security guard’s arms, I try to move with him, wanting to help my friend, but my colleagues tell me stand back. I watch helplessly as my friend fights for his life. 

“Daphne, do you need to call anybody,” Mary, one of our nurses, asks. I stare at her blankly before slowly nodding my head. She escorts me into the personnel lounge and sits me in a chair. I stare blankly at the telephone for a couple of minutes before picking it up. I quickly dial my boyfriend.

“Maurice,” I whisper into the phone. “Daphne, what’s wrong, where are you?” I start sobbing and I try to tell him what’s wrong but I’m crying too hard to tell him. I feel the phone taken from my hand as I continue to sob, rocking back and forth in the chair, praying my friend will be okay. 

“Maurice, this is Mary, I work with Daphne. Tonight there was a problem in the parking garage and her friend, Justin, was hurt pretty badly, I would suggest you get here as soon as possible.” I hear Mary explain but I can’t really pay attention as my life with Justin flashes before my eyes. We’ve been through so much together, done so many things together, I can’t lose him now. Maurice asked me to marry him last week; I was going to ask Justin tonight to stand beside me. Please let him be okay. Please!

I don’t know how long I sat in the employee lounge waiting for news but then Maurice is here, and he’s holding me. 

“Daphne, baby, have you called Brian?” Brian that selfish son of a bitch, none of this would have happened if that asshole hadn’t gone away with his husband. Damnit! 

“No,” I whisper. I know that it’s not Brian’s fault, he was doing what Justin had told him to, to make sure he wanted to be with Justin, forever. 

“Do you want to call him or do you want me to?”

“I should,” I say. I take a couple of deep breathes and wipe the tears away before picking up the phone again. I quickly dial the number and wait for him to answer. 

“Hello?” Someone other than Brian answers the phone. 

“Yes, is Brian there,” I ask, trying to control my emotions. 

“I’m sorry but my husband isn’t available right now.” Fucking Sam, fucker.

“Well can you make him available, it’s about Justin,” I state angrily. 

“Listen, we are trying to work things out…”

“Listen, you pathetic fucking asshole, Justin is in the hospital, NOW put Brian ON.” The fucker hung up on me. That fucker. I quickly redial the number but it goes directly to voicemail. Wait till I get my hands on that little prick.

“Daphne,” Dr. Frank Durso comes in. I quickly stand up and make my way toward him, Maurice wraps his arms around me, and I lean back into his loving embrace. 

“Daphne, has his next to kin arrived?” I shake my head. With Jennifer in Europe with her husband and Brian out of the country, I’m the closest one to Justin. 

“Who has POA?” He asks. 

“His partner,” I respond automatically.

“Is he on his way?” I shake my head in the negative. He nods his head in understanding before looking away. 

“Daphne, Mr. Taylor was stabbed in the stomach and he had to be rushed up to the OR. He also has a pretty severe concussion but there is no indication of any bleeding in his brain. His leg is broken in two places and his shoulder is dislocated. We need someone that can authorize us to use any means necessary to sustain his life.” I nod my head in understanding and realize that I don’t have that right. 

“I’ll call his attorney and see what we can do. He must have a living will.” 

“Let me know what you find out. If he has one, have the paper’s faxed here from his attorney or delivered. I’m sorry Daphne about…about your friend.” Dr. Frank says before during and walking away. I take a deep breath, realizing that I have to hold it together for Justin. I turn toward the phone to start the ball rolling. 

Brian’s POV

We’re on our way back to Pittsburgh after spending two weeks in Mexico, not resolving anything between us. On several occasions, I tried to become intimate with Sammy but every time that I tried, I kept seeing Justin in front of me, lying beneath me, writhing underneath me. I couldn’t get him out of my thoughts or dreams. On a couple of nights, I woke up screaming his name, my body covered in cum, the sheets soaked. Sammy was less than thrilled but tried to over look it, to make love to me, with me but I just couldn’t do it. He isn’t Justin. 

A week ago, I tried to call Justin, but all I got was his voicemail. I just needed to hear his voice to know that he was okay but he never called me back. I thought about calling him at work but I remembered our agreement not to speak while I was away, he wanted to give me time to reconnect with Sammy, and he wanted time to start to heal the pain. I just wish I could have talked to him, to let him know that I missed him, immensely. 

“Brian,” Sammy says intertwining our fingers together. I look over at him and realize that I’m not in love with him anymore; I haven’t been for years, not since Justin appeared in my life. I love him; I think that I always will but it’s not what I feel for Justin. I don’t think that I ever felt for Sam what I do for Justin. I smile thinking about my beautiful boy. 

“What’s that smile for?” I think about telling him the truth, but I don’t want to have this conversation on the plane so I just shake my head and turn and look out the window. God, can we get home any faster. I want to see my beautiful boy, take him in my arms, and love him. God I want him so fucking bad. I shift in my seat, my cock growing hard from thinking about him. The last night I was in the Pitts we had tried to make love but I could barely get a finger inside of him, he was so fucking tight, so damn stressed out. He cried, begging me to make love to him, but I wouldn’t hurt him by forcing my way inside of him. We lay in each other’s arms and gently stroked each other off, both crying. Damnit! Sammy comes back and I can’t fucking stop crying, not because of Sammy but what his appearance has threatened to take away. 

“So have you decided what you are going to do?” Sammy asks me. I look over to him; keeping my face devoid of emotions or thoughts. If it was Justin, he’d be able to see through it, but Sammy doesn’t know me anymore, I don’t know if he ever did. 

“We’ll talk about everything when we get back to my loft,” I say quietly before looking away. I just want to get home, home to my partner.

“Justin,” I call out, finally arriving at the loft. I set my bags down beside the door and look around for Justin’s blond head. The lights are on in the loft and the radio is playing softly so Justin has to be at home. Sammy walks in behind me, dropping his things next to mine. 

“Justin,” I call out again. Suddenly I hear footsteps bounding down the stairs and I look over to the bedroom and see Daphne and her boyfriend, Maurice coming out of my room.

“Hey Daphne what are you doing here?” I ask, moving toward the fridge. 

“Visiting Justin.”

“Where is he?” I ask, drinking from a bottle of water. 

“Up in the bedroom lying down.” I immediately start moving toward the bedroom but Daphne stops me with a hard look. 

“He’s sleeping right now.” She says. 

“Daphne, I’ve been away for nearly two weeks. I want to see him,” I say shaking her arm off and trying to continue up to the bedroom. 

“Brain…” Daphne starts but suddenly stops, looking down at the ground.

“Daphne what’s going on?” I ask panic starting to set in. I watch as she shoots a glare at Sammy before looking back at me. I watch as Maurice comes to stand beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 

“What?” I demand.

“He was attacked a week ago; he’s been in the hospital.” Daphne explains quietly. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you call me? Is he alright?” I yell.

“I did fucking call you but your HUSBAND said you weren’t available and refused to get you. I told him Justin was in the hospital but HE hung up on ME and I tried to call back but the phone was turned off. Since I couldn’t get a hold of his partner who also happens to be his power of attorney, I had to have Melanie bring over a copy of his living will.” She yells back at me. I don’t believe it; Sammy wouldn’t do something like that. He wouldn’t.

“You’re a fucking liar. Brian…,” Sammy yells back. 

“Everyone needs to calm down; you’re going to wake him.” Maurice says. 

“Too fucking late, I’m already awake.” Justin says from the bedroom. “Maurice can you come help me, Daphne put my fucking crutches too far away.” I watch as Maurice pulls away from Daphne and walks up to the bedroom. I start moving toward them but Daphne shakes her head. 

“Just give them a couple of minutes Brian.” I think about telling her to go to hel,l that it should be me in there helping him but then I look at her carefully and I can see the anger in her face as well as pain. I nod my head and turn toward the wet-bar needing a strong drink.

“Fuck, this sucks,” Justin says from the bedroom. I turn toward the bedroom again, wanting to see what’s wrong but Daphne is blocking my view. 

“I’ve got you Justin; now just put your arm in the sling.” Maurice says. Crutches, sling? What the fuck is going on.

“Daphne what happened?” I ask, trying to control the anger I feel welling up inside of me. She shoots a look at me but before she can say anything Justin comes hobbling out of the bedroom. My breath catches in my throat when Justin comes down the stairs, leaning on one crutch on the left side of his body, his right leg has a cast from the knee down, and his right arm is in a sling. His face is bruised and he has a bandage above his eye. He’s moving slowly and it looks like he is in a lot of pain. 

“Brian,” he starts, “…sofa,” he says, his face pinched in pain. Maurice helps move him toward the couch and Daphne and I both follow them. 

“Daph, can I have a shot?” Justin asks as he leans back in the couch, closing his eyes. She nods her head before grabbing her purse, pulling out a needle, and retrieving a bottle from the fridge. 

“Does someone care to explain to me what the fuck happened?” I ask through gritted teeth. He reaches a hand out to me, which I quickly take in my own. I lift up his upper body and slide underneath him, his head resting in my lap. I gently run my finger’s through his hair, mindful of the injury to his head.

“Justin?” I ask him. 

“It was an accident,” he says softly, opening his eyes a little. 

“The fuck it was Justin, that asshole beat the shit out of you,” Daphne says coming back with the medicine. “Here, roll over a little,” she says pulling his sweats down his hip to inject the medicine. 

“I’m waiting,” I say again, when Justin rolls back on his back. He looks up to me and frowns slightly before looking away. 

“Justin went to pick up Daphne because her car is in the shop and I was working late. He was waiting in the employee parking lot, when Daphne came out, a man attacked her. Justin, was able to get her to safety but the man grabbed Justin and beat him pretty badly,” Maurice said. I look over at Daphne and see the tears rolling down her face and Justin is looking out the window. 

“What are the injuries,” I ask. 

“His shoulder was dislocated, so it’s still a little sore, he needs to keep it immobile for another few days. His leg was broken in two places. He hit his head against the wall but there wasn’t any bleeding in the brain, it just required stitches. But ummm…he was stabbed in the stomach and…” she stops suddenly. 

“I had to have surgery because my liver was damaged. They had to go in and clean it up and I had to have several blood transfusions because of the blood loss,” Justin finishes quietly. I look down at his stomach and slowly pull his shirt up, his chest and stomach are covered in bruises from the beating. I softly caress his skin, wishing that I could take his pain away. On his upper abdomen, he has an incision that is closed with staples.

“Why wasn’t I called?” I ask again. I here Daphne take a deep breath before moving away from us toward the windows. 

“I was out of it Brian and I promised not to call,” Justin says quietly, avoiding my gaze. 

“Justin, you could have died, I should have been called.” I say forcefully. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Justin says, still not looking at me. 

“Justin that is bunch of bullshit! Why the fuck are you sorry, you didn’t do a fucking thing wrong.” Daphne yells. 

“Daphne.” Both Maurice and Justin say. 

“No he wants to know why we didn’t call him, why YOU didn’t call him, Justin. I did call Brian, and Sammy answered your phone. I asked to speak with you but he said that you weren’t available, when I told him that it was about Justin he said that we needed to leave you both alone so that you could put your relationship back together. I tried to explain that Justin was in the hospital but he hung up on me, when I called back, the phone was off. So I didn’t call back after that, I figured you didn’t give a fuck.” Daphne says angrily. I look at her carefully and I can see the truth in her words. I look over at Sammy and I can see he’s about to say something but I hold up my hand, warning him off. 

“Justin, can you sit up?” He nods his head and with me pushing his back, he’s sitting up uncomfortably. I quickly retrieve my phone from my pocket and then help him lay back down. 

“When did you say you called?” I ask Daphne.

“A week ago, the call came from the hospital.” Daphne answers. I scroll through my calls recognizing the calls I made and received except for one number at 10:00 pm last week. I stare at the number for a couple minutes and then looked at the talk time; the call was for three minutes. I place the phone on the armrest, then look over at Daphne, and nod my head. She smiles slightly before turning toward Justin. 

“Jus, do you think you’ll be okay, Maurice and I need to go. I have a shift tonight.” Daphne asks. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Daph.” Justin says closing his eyes. After goodbyes, Daphne and Maurice leave Justin, Sammy and I there. Sammy’s avoiding looking into my eyes and Justin has his eyes closed. I finally realize how truly fucked up this situation is. I have a partner for six years, we’ve had a rocky road but we’ve been together for the better part of those six years. Then a man that I thought I loved appears and nearly destroys that. For what? To try and relive the past, to capture what we once had. I don’t think I ever realized how truly fucked our relationship was all those years ago. 

“Sammy, I want you to get your things and leave. I never want to hear or see you again. I want you to leave, NOW.”

“Brian, let me explain please. We were so happy in Mexico, please just let me explain.” He pleads with me. I look at him incredulously, he can’t be fucking serious, I wasn’t happy in Mexico unless I was asleep and able to dream of Justin.

“Explain what Sammy? That my partner’s best friend called to tell me that he was in the hospital that I was needed at home and you decided that the information wasn’t important. Or is it that you didn’t want me to rush home to Justin because you KNEW that I wasn’t going to choose you, you were holding out hope that I would change my mind.” I hear Justin let out a sigh of relief; I comb my fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. “Whatever the case may be Sammy, I really don’t give a fuck. What I care about is that my lover was hurt, seriously, and you didn’t tell me, I should have been with him. NOT YOU and this trip proved it to me. I don’t love you Sammy, not as I love Justin. What we shared when we were younger pales in comparison to what I have now. Now get your shit and get out of my home and out of my life.” I say through clenched teeth. 

“Brian, I do love you.” He says needlessly. 

“No Sammy, I think you loved the idea of me sixteen years ago. Now leave.” He looks at me one last time before gathering his things and walking out the door. 

“Justin, let me up so I can lock the door.” I say quietly. Justin mutely nods his head and slowly sits up. I move out from under him, lock the door, and turn off the phones. Walking back to Justin, I can see tears running down his face but this time, I know that they are tears of happiness. I gently gather him in my arms and carry him back to bed.

“I’m going to remove your clothes okay,” I whisper. He nods his head, again not opening his eyes or speaking. I gently remove his clothes and stare at his bruised body, I can feel my own tears pooling in my eyes and I try to force them away. I almost lost him because of Sammy, never again. I won’t let this happen again. I quickly remove my own clothes, needing to feel his skin against my own and crawl into bed. I gently gather him in my arms, his head resting against my chest. 

“You’re really here to stay,” he whispers. 

Justin’s POV

“Yes. I’m so sorry Justin. Sorry that I went with Sammy, that I couldn’t say that I wasn’t in love with him anymore. Sorry that I wasn’t here for when you got hurt. That I wasn’t here for you.” I feel the load of bricks that had been weighing me down lift off my shoulders. I start to tremble with relief and I smile brightly even as the tears fall down my face. 

“I’m so sorry Justin,” he says again. 

“It’s okay, I’m just happy that you chose me. That I didn’t lose you.”

“It was never a competition Justin. You were always the one I wanted, I think I just needed to be reminded of that. Even before we left, I didn’t want him. I don’t know why I went through with this. Can you forgive me?”

“Brian, you had to do it. You had to be sure that what you were feeling for him wasn’t real. There’s nothing to forgive Brian. Nothing at all.” I tell him. I realize that it’s the truth, I don’t regret what we’ve gone through, it’s only brought us closer together. I don’t want to go through it again but I don’t regret it, not at all. 

I feel him slide down on the bed and I gently move off his chest and rest my head on the pillow. He slides down beside me and rests his hand on my hip. Our faces are close together, his lips nearly touching mine. 

“I love you Justin, I always have.” He whispers before gently kissing me. I smile watery through the kiss, enjoying the feel of his lips against mine, the taste of him on my lips. He leans back from the kiss and stares into my eyes, his own eyes wet with unshed tears. 

“I love you too, Brian,” I whisper before pushing forward, reclaiming his lips. Pulling back from the kiss, he wraps his arms protectively around me. 

“Sleep Justin, I’ll be here when you wake up,” he murmurs into the top of my head. I struggle to stay awake, wanting to see more of him but exhaustion wins out and I fall asleep in my lover’s arms. 

One Month Later

So much has changed in the last month. Immediately Brian filed papers to sever his partnership with Sammy and changed both his POA and Will. Sammy didn’t contest the changes so Brian is a ‘free’ man. I laugh slightly at the thought because Brian is by no means free or available. He’s changed his POA over to me as well as his Will. It’s not important to me, but he wants me to always be protected. I can understand that because he has the same security with me. 

We have been extremely close ever since he returned from Mexico. We were close prior to Sammy showing up in our lives, but now there is no boundaries, no barriers between us. I think it was good Sammy came back because he was able to put many demons to rest; he’s able to love me without restraint, to allow me in without any stipulations. I think that we are truly happy now, able to love freely. I’m happy. 

“What are you thinking about,” Brian asks coming up from behind me. 

“Hmmm, thinking that I had a doctors appointment today,” I say. When I got hurt again the doctor said that I wasn’t able to be ‘intimate’ in any way for at least a month, that my body needed time to heal. Brian was unwilling to bend the doctor’s orders, no matter how much I begged. But today I got the all clear and besides the cast on my leg, I’m feeling 100%. 

“Is that so,” Brian hedges. 

“Oh that is most certainly so,” I turn in his arms. We stare into each other eyes, hungry with lust and need. Our lips come together in a bruising kiss and suddenly he whisks me up in his arms and carries me to the bedroom. I break the kiss and lean back, laughing from the pure joy of it. He gently lays me down on the bed and he slowly starts to remove his clothes. I sit up and pull my shirt off, my hair getting messy. 

“God Brian, you’re beautiful,” I whisper, his beautiful body standing in front of me on display. He provocatively unbuttons his jeans, the head of his cock resting below the second button. I lick my lips at the beautiful, delicious sight and quickly unbutton my jeans. I lie down on my back and lift my hips and start pushing them down. I want him and I want him NOW. Brian turns around and lowers his jeans over his toned ass; he bends way over to pull his jeans free of his body, his pucker on display. I groan loudly, my lust and need becoming overwhelming. 

“Want me Justin?” Brian leers over his shoulder. My eyes meet his but I’m not able to vocalize as a lump forms in my throat. I nod my head eagerly and he chuckles slightly at me. He turns back around and walks toward me, his dick leading the way. He walks up the bed, leaning over he pulls my jeans free and throws them over his shoulder.

“Want you so bad Brian,” I whisper and I do, I can’t wait tonight, I need to feel him in me now. He nods his head and I reach over to grab a condom and lube. 

“No,” he says, I look at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“Brian, next time, but right now I need to feel you,” I explain and continue to reach. He grabs my hand, stilling my movements and reaches over, grabbing only the lube. I stare at him for a moment before realizing what he’s saying. I nod my head in agreement and spread my legs, allowing him room. He coats his fingers with the jelly and gently presses it into me. I moan from the delicious feeling that it’s creating inside of me. He quickly adds a second finger, stretching me thoroughly. I watch through heavy lidded eyes as he pulls his fingers out and applies lube to his hard cock. I spread my legs wider as he moves further between my legs, his cock resting against my hole. 

“Love you Justin,” he whispers as he pushes into me. I moan loudly, arching my back, drawing him in deeper. I wrap one of my legs around his hip the other one resting against his calf. He leans down and kisses me deeply as he begins to move in and out of me. 

“Love you Brian,” I whisper when he leans back from the kiss, his forehead resting against mine. We make love slowly and tenderly, our hands intertwined, moving against each other and together. We move more urgently against each other, he tries to release my hand but I hold it tightly, not wanting to release it. 

“Want to…cum…with…you,” he grunts as he forcefully slams into me. My eyes roll back into my head, my back arching as he cock presses against my prostate.

“Ohhh…right…there…don’t…stop…never…stop,” I moan as he slams into me. I feel my orgasm rush through me, his cock swells inside of me, throbbing. I moan as his hot spunk burns the inside of my body, my own essence spilling onto our chests. My body tenses as the intense tremors rush through me, my moans never ceasing, his name on my lips repeatedly. I force my eyes to remain open, watching as my lover, my friend, my partner, my everything, throws his head back in bliss, moaning loudly. He falls down on top of me and I wrap my arms protectively around him, holding him close, our hearts slowly begging to beat together.

He says that I was never going to lose him but I think that I was just lucky to win his love.


End file.
